I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize