Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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