Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
