We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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