But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
