Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
