i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
