im having a threesome with these popsicles
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
