I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize