we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Someone signed my nipple.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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