And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just pynch a tree in the face
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
