you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
