did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
