Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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