New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you would pick up someone in the library
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
