Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
