Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
