So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
