worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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