i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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