Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
