if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
