it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm both gender and math confused
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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