Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
