his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I can't put those talents on a resume
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
