She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
