You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
