And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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