Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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