hell yes lets make some ravioli
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
