ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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