Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize