He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
40s are totally the cure
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
