Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
