Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
