new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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