Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
