i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
