If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
