One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
