You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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