More tranny stories later!
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
