U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
