Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
