I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize