alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The cops high fived after they tackled you
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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