Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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