Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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