I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
