On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize