she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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