I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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