she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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