What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i believe in u and ur pee
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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