Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
