She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
