Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
