a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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