He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
