I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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