OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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