You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
