Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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