Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
