Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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