I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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