I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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