wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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