turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
