Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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